The ‘F’ word. No, not that ‘F’ word; the other one. The one that tends to stop us in our tracks the moment we feel like we’ve got it all together, for once. Or maybe that’s just me? I’ve sky-dived in the Swiss Alps. I’ve performed in front of 2,000 people. I’ve done a few things that would be deemed ‘SCARY’. Yet, these are not the things I am really afraid of. The truth is, there is so much ‘UN-scary’ about the things that I would do if I didn’t have this incredible, sometimes-irrational/all-the-time ridiculous fear circulating around.
I feel slightly unsteady today (can you tell? haha). Kinda unsteady in a ‘2 steps forward, 15 steps back’ way. I debated whether to even write up this entry for FEAR of who might see it. The ‘F’ word comes in so many different guises too – frustration, anger, sadness, anxiousness, unsettlement and just straight up dread. Perhaps I’ve just got Sunday-itis? Monday morning will make things better when I get back into routine and get distracted once more, I’m sure.
And then next Sunday I’ll be back at the start again – frightfully sprinting away from what I keep running from. Myself. No crazy monsters, no person with an axe, no dare-devil stunts. Just me.
Mondays are a wonderful day to start again.